9:00PM UPDATE: Thanks to the person who responded to this post by getting back to me sooner, than later on some things we have been discussing anyway. And for driving out to Agoura Hills to buy me dinner and gas money to talk about it in person. So the crisis has been averted for the short-run. I feel the urge to take this post down now, to try and keep the hunky-dory, larger than life image partially intact; but, this type of situation has been such a big part of my life throughout it out, so have fun reading this one moment in time. People seem to like the behind the scenes drama of people's lives they see in the media. Meanwhile, I have so much new video and material to blog, but I don't have a computer, so I am stuck with 2 hours on a library computer, so it all compounds the situation because I am only functioning on about 10% productivity at this point. However, Zuma's "Message of Faith" Express continues to the next stop, cause I now have enough money to blow at the internet cafe to catch up on blogging.
4:00PM: Wow, there's the image that I have been able to keep up over the past 11 months, but I really think this whole "Zuma Dogg" thing that I have been rolling with over the past (nearly) three years -- and most recently -- being on the streets, non-stop, without having slept in a bed for eleven straight months...it has all compounded on itself and the bottom has REALLY fallen out of my day to day life. So now, it's Saturday at 4pm, and I am so stuck, it's about to go down as another day where I am stuck in a strip mall parking lot, unable to leave to area (no gas) and of course I am sleep deprived and starving, so I hope you can excuse this post of a personal nature. I don't think there's gonna be much else out of me. The days are waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long, and the nights are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too short, and it is very, very clear to me that I am in WAY too deep of a sleep deprived rut to pull myself out of. I can be a lot of things, but as this point, I am nothing but a sleep deprived, stariving person who is living each moment in panic. I've been trying to pull myself out of this, and have been reaching out to people begging for help, but because I always end up showing up for one more meeting on TV where everything looks hunky-dory, or because I like to keep up a positive, optimistic front (for as much as I have been able to), I'm here to say, unfortunately, I couldn't break the energy pattern and no one was able to read the signs.
QUESTION: DO YOU REALLY THINK SOMEONE REBOUNDS OUT OF THIS SITUATION???
WHO DO YOU KNOW THAT HAS EVER OPERATED UNDER THESE CONDITIONS?
DO YOU REALLY THINK THERE IS GOING TO BE A SUCCESS STORY THAT SOMEONE WENT FROM $0.00 ON SATURDAY MARCH 21, 2009 AT MY AGE, UNDER THESE FLAT-OUT ON YOUR ASS SLEEP DEPRIVED AND STARVING CONDITIONS?
YEAH, RIGHT! Did you see the movie "Titanic?" Once you've taken on this much water, and there isn't a hand in sight, how did things end up turning out for Leo? But nice thoughts and suggestions on things I should do for myself are quite helpful, in theory. Thanks and sorry for this post. What else do you think I am capable of?
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