Wednesday, July 4, 2007


Maaaaaaaan, the haters are gonna have grist for the mill for about the next year or so.

After seven years of Dave protecting his identity as Zuma Dogg, to the point of wearing the hat and glasses in Ralph's at 3am, or at Ventura Beach, so as to prevent all photos, like KISS, it finally became MY OWN, personal Darth Vader helmet I accuse others of being trapped inside, and ZD was finally comfortable enough to want to enter society as an insider, not an outsider, and took off the hat and glasses before Council and everyone watching on TV 35. (And it couldn't have happened on a worse day, with an extra large audience because of the annual Council elections.

Many of you know, the ZD was unleashed and in full-effect mode like HULK at his greenest and meanest. And it was quite a productive period.

But the reason was first over the Venice Beach ban of Zuma Dogg Tshirts (politically protected message), and incense and other protected items. [THIS IS NOT ABOUT TAXES...THAT IS ADDRESSED, TOO.]

So they took away my income and my life tanked. THEN, they arrested me, in a move to go for a one-year stay away. (So that's only gonna unleash the ZD. It made me feel like, we'll as long as I am going out, it may as well be in a "blaze of glory".)

And, of course, as a "chip on his shoulder", "poor-man's complex", "under dogg", I NEVER actually felt like the "puffed up"/"actual factor" I kept trying to "defend" myself into proving to the haters. (Again, like "stay away" attempt only drove me harder, all the "minimizing" attempts in these comment sections, only made me try and convince you otherwise. (But I guess you knew, waaaaaaay before I did, otherwise you wouldn't have been here.)

I know people have been saying that for a while, but believe it, or didn't REALLY hit me until that City Attorney said 3-5 more people from City Hall wanted to testify against me, and added, if i keep going back, who knows who else would want to testify, that I piss off."

MAN, it wasn't over disruption...

It was over the content of the message. (Non-union, non-documented workers building condos Downtown.)

And the way the City Attorney argued the case, describing the problem with ZD...and it didn't start with, "A guy who caused an illegal disruption."

It was, "What do you say about a guy, who shows up to all the Council meetings, talking on all the items.."

So after they didn't get the stay away, I kinda actually felt sorry for the City. AND I AM NOT MAKING FUN OF THEM...THIS IS THE POINT ALL THE HATERS HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET ME TO...

Finally having enough self-esteem that I don't WANT to be such a wet fish, flappin' around the deck that no one can manage to handle or grab a hold of.

I learned the lesson from Bill Murray in "Scrooged" AND The Cast of "Wizard of OZ", all at once.

First of all, I HOPE I continue to feel uncomfortable behaving the way I used to. AND NOW, I CAN STOP, because I have PROVED that you CAN! (So that's how you diffuse ZD.)

I don't regret a second of (sometimes, not ALL the time) extra-annoying, but legal behavoir. I loved it. It was obviously a blast. And the guerilla warfare tactics allowed me to get the attention and just as importantly, esteem that allowed me to get to this point.

PLUS, something "I" knew all along, and City Hall ZD opponents, battling me on this blog have brought to people's attention, even more so, last night...

What ZD just did inside City Council chambers, represents a FLAW in the Democratic system, in general:

The system as big as one that covers all Americans all the time, for everything, is going to have to allow for a little give on one end, so there isn't too much take on the other. (A little too wide a net, to make sure you catch ALL the shadiness.)

So yeah, one day, every Los Angelino could decide to show up on the same day, and decide to take their full allotment of daily U.S. constitutional rights.

But Deming will point out, through the use of statistics, although sometimes you'll have a few too many people, on a busy day, for the most part, the City knows, basically what to expect, and it doesn't fluctuate THAT much, in the long run.

AND AS OF TODAY (the day after ZD & City found out he didn't have to stay away for a year), I feel like the flaw has been noted for the record, and luckily, it really doesn't need to be changed, because there seems to be something that keeps it at a certain level -- EVEN THOUGH THAT IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE LESS THAN THE PEOPLE WANT (if you give us 3 minutes, we'll feel we need 4), but MORE than any human being Councilmember would want to take time for.

AND TO THEM, I SAY...Sorry...that's the price we have to pay (a few extra minutes of ZD/"all the others, especially in Van Nuys, that you wish weren't there" a day).

So now that I have proved the point, not only to the City, but to MYSELF (cause that's what everyone was waiting for), I don't have to fight for that one anymore.

AND SO, in the middle of Tuesday's "general public comment", ZD did something he hasn't done since his Howard Stern debut in May 2000...

He aksed Eric Garcetti if he could yield some time...

Then pulled off my Snoop Dogg style knit ski cap and loc'd-out sunglasses, held them in my right hand, and said, "My name's Dave, and I've been trapped inside, I've been held hostage by Zuma Dogg (holding up hat and glasses)...this mean guy and I'd like to break the (trap) and honor the spirit in which you'd like, EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE TO!"

Then, City Council votes to ALLOW incense and Zuma Dogg shirts BACK ON VENICE BEACH!!! (They are also gonna figure out the tax issue of beach vendors, and if they are able to under constitution law, (because again, the system does allow for flaws), that's fantastic, too!

And the final board I had to break...the constant challenge to hop on the bus downtown (and all the energy that takes out of me, way too early for a night guy like me), wait all that time, for the shot to hammer out that "ULTIMATE STRING OF "PERFECT" PUBLIC COMMENTS. (Like trying to bowl a 300, or shoot a round of bulls-eyes in target practice.)


Not that any song, or comment, or any creative medium can ever be "perfect", and that's the constant allure.

So let's just say, after a lot speeches that left me feeling really good...I still feel like "Oh, shoot...I forgot (blank)." Or, "I ran out of time and had to rush at the end"...

So today, it was finally the slowed down, not yelling (but still loud, but appropriately compelling loud, not "ear shattering loud" as Dion described it back to me.


MAN, YOU SHOULD SEE THE GUY...NO WONDER HE STAYS COVERED UP! EVEN CANDIDO MAREZ SAID, "Put it back on, put it back on." When I thought I would be nice and take it off during a lunch, one time."

But today was the first day that idiot Zuma Dogg let Dave speak, the entire time, for all comments...and it was the first day, I feel I achieved the "perfect cheer!"

And to top it off, when they were holding official city elections for Council Prez and Pro-Tem, during the unanymous vote for "Greuel" as Pro-Tem...when the get to Zuma Dogg's favorite Councilmember, who does so many great things for the city, both as a Councilmember and in his personal life, Greig Smith says, "Can we have a write in vote; Zuma Dogg?"

Plus, last week's ZD "Friendly Amendment" on "Child Safety" study, that ZD's SECOND favorite CM Richard Alarcon, actually made the amendment, acknowledging ZD in the process. (I know he was gonna make it anyway...I HOPE...point's stuff like that...AND ZINE/whoever else, that allowed me to be able to get to this point of at least trying to behave more in "the spirit" in which Council and the haters wish I would. (EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE TO...and I think ZD is gonna have to add that disclaimer EVERY F-ING TIME TILL THE END OF TIME, JUST SO HE DOESN'T HAVE TO!]

Plus, I noticed all the right (otherwise wrong) "Special Event Fee Waivers" said, "City to be reimbursed for all fees" (including Wendy Greuel's Prince Concert!) And I even got to ASK A QUESTION directly to Wendy, to inquire if that was actually, "the Prince from 'Purple Rain'."

And instead of Eric saying, "Please address Council as a whole, and you are not allowed to ask questions", Wendy simple nodded her head and said, "Yes."


So what more can ZD want? He proved to the City that there is a "glitch" in the first amendment that allows him to legally annoy the hell out of you, and make it feel like he is bringing the process to a complete hault. AND, actually, finally believes his own BS about having the City's ear -- just enough that he doesn't have to keep reminding the whole world each and every time he opens his mouth!

But, I would like to at say, in my defense (and it WAS a defense) least with me, you get ONE person, recapping info that is important to people Citywide, because it was provided by many other people Citywide.)

It's the homeless guy speaking on tenant's rights/emenent domain, the guy with no kids speaking on LAUSD, the no stakeholder pissed off about Glassell Park/Citywide NC...all the biggest, most-time-spent issues are things people told me from the community, and the things that piss me off, I end up dumping on Council. So it's not like I am just trying to frivously take up time like in the first couple months.

As much time as I am spending with people on this stuff, and as pissed off about it as I now am...the last thing I want to do is waste one second. And since the river of shadiness runs so deep, each day...there is never any left-over time to pick an agenda item, just for a "funny" angle. (Like Wink Martindale Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.)

So when you are suffering through the third ZD agenda item in a row, that you not only had to call "special" just for "HIM AGAIN"...but now he is gonna expose the shady angle...remind yourself this...

At least he is TRYING to honor the spirit of public hearings and community input. And at least the people sitting at their desks at work, or who simply cannot appear on TV for personal/professional makes THEM a little less frustrated at you, knowing at least ZD is down there speaking up on it.

And now, hopefully some of the people who were STILL resistant and angry at ZD (the ones who knew I could do it, even better, with a tad less tactics) will finally take a sigh of relief, and maybe when I am re-capping what their constituents told me the past day, they can try and see it from our point of view, now that ZD is enjoying the view from YOUR point of view.

BOTTOM LINE: After I took off my gear during the first comment, I wondered if I should do the next one with the ZD/Batcowl-like gear...or without? And I was gonna go WITHOUT...BUT, as much as KISS wanted to take the make-up off, for their own personal reasons...people like to see them with it on. So I'll roll with that...I think the point is to give the people what they want, enough of the ZD to keep it fun and light enough, but they want Dave playing him. Like in a movie when you have to get actors to play the bad guys for orderly process. And now, it'll be the other way around. I'll be wanting to do it WITHOUT the hat and glasses...and everyone will want me to still do it with. (I guess we still got conflict, y'all...yeah, yeah!)

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