If today was part of the movie of my life as an un-witting activist, to compare it to "Titanic" we would be at the scene where it's only Leo and Kate as he slips away into the abyss, right before Celine starts singing.
Two days ago, or yesterday (recently in the past 48 hours, the days all just run together), THIS guy got a dose of THE MOST SLEEP DEPRIVED AND DESPERATE ZUMA DOGG EVER, EVER, EVER. Put it this way, based on my early morning Twitter tweets, he already called me by 6:30am to get me breakfast at a local shopping plaza.
Here's the post from the guy that I really shouldn't even post, cause it's not exactly a warm and fuzzy moment. But as a crazy street performer whose life seems to be somewhat of an open book in public, I gotta let it fly, cause it's a good inside look. http://bit.ly/Yb7uw
So it was already pretty bad then (my sleep deprivation and no nutrition)...and it ain't goin' uphill, so today, the timing belt on ZD's brain snapped worse than ever. And I kinda felt like today was a turning point in my life as far as becoming more degenerate in my helplessness to pull myself out of this rut. (I need the helicopters to fly in and drop the roll-up rescue ladder for an extraction.) What can I tell you. It's humiliating and embarrassing. I'm supposed to be the upbeat comedy-based guy, BUT, I've become a public persona at some level, and I didn't care in the first place, then I cared when it became more of a high profile situation, but now, since I feel good enough about the past three years of activism, I don't care if people know that larger than life person you see on TV, hear on the radio and see fun videos on the blog, is basically bitter, cranky, desperate, isolated, hungry, sleep deprived guy who turns into a pumpkin the second the on-air sign goes off.
And it's interesting, because August will be the 9 year anniversary of the infamous debut of the now legendary "The Zuma Dogg Show" that caused LA Weekly's website to plainly refer to Zuma Dogg as a "public access icon." (But I usually just chop the quote down to "icon" to save space.)
So when I started the show, all I know is I was living in a nice guest unit in Malibu and before that worked in NYC at a top radio station where I took limos and walked red carpets and hung out backstage and at parties with Keith, Mick, Elton, Bruce, Robert & Jimmy, Mariah, Tina...don't want to bore you with details like when I had dinner with Gene and Paul, or sat next to Tina at dinner. Seal's record company credits a certain BZD as the guy who broke him in the U.S. when no station in America was playing him.
So, over the past eight years, the people of L.A have got to witness quite a personal decline, as the public persona gains momentum. The more one yings and the other yangs, it creates more and more combustion in my chambers that causes it all to explode in Twitter tweets like the one this morning, that should be very, very amusing. Remember, you know what they say about us creative, artistic, comedic types. And then someone who went to ever council meeting for over a year just because he's pissed off. WHAT DO YOU THINK, Y'ALL? (See "Jackie Gleason Story.")
I'd be long gone by now, but I never got into coke or smack or meth or any of that stuff and I don't like Jack Daniels. So I'm just lingering around in good spirits over the "energy" I feel from the city and "the people" but am too miserable at the physical level to where that's all I can really focus on most of the day. And I frenetically post blog missiles in between the turmoil. It used to be a lot better. But I still got all the good memories of all the people I've met and all the smiles I've seen in between moments.
- Goodnight, everybody.
- Someone said, "I'm lost are you homeless?" No, I'm at Ritz-Carlton. Anyway, I've gotta go pass out. This is a defining moment in my life.
- As you can see, I am having a hard time dealing with the fact that I am dying alone on the streets and see the conditions aren't improving.
- Thanks to everyone who spent so much time on the phone and in person discussing plans. Obviously it was all B.S. as I sit on street alone.
- Gotta sell my computer for some food right now. Don't trip out if you don't see me Tweeting/blogging anymore. Call if you need to reach me.
- If my foot was stuck in train tracks and a train was coming, people would say, "Get up ZD, here comes the train!" It takes a hand to pull.
- TOPIC: Difference between zero-value, empty suggestions people make to make THEMSELVES feel better; and actual helpful gestures and actions.
- If someone's public comment card isn't called at Council meeting, I don't say, "Go talk to the Sgt at Arms." I GO TALK TO THE SGT FOR THEM!
- When a senior called to ask for help about her house being taken away by city, I didn't give her a phone number to call. I MADE CALL MYSELF!
- If someone says, "Zuma, I am having a problem with (council problem). I don't say, "Go to public comment." I GO TO PUBLIC COMMENT FOR THEM.
- If someone calls and asks for help on an issue, I do not just give them a number to call. I MAKE THE CALLS AND DO THE RESEARCH FOR THEM.
- re: So what has everyone else suggested you do?: I have tried to be clear. If someone says, "zuma, you should..." THEY ARE ALREADY NO HELP.
- How much you wanna bet I end up being rushed to hospital before a shred of luck/relief comes my way? Just one less homeless guy on street.
- Do you really think I am going to make a comeback and pull myself out of this all alone on the street without a cent. I'm going down. Sorry.
- What a fucking waste. I can see all I can do today is look for a place to take a nap right now just let everything slide.
- I wish I could take on the day and do something to help myself today. I KEEP TELLING YOU I AM NOT ABLE TO FUNCTION ANYMORE LIKE THIS ALONE!
- HOW DO I EXPLAIN TO PEOPLE, I KNOW ALL THE THINGS I SHOULD BE DOING..I NEED HELP. I CANNOT PULL MYSELF OUT ALL ALONE & BROKE ON THE STREET!
- I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL PEOPLE I AM SO BROKE (NOT ONE CENT) AND SLEEP DEPRIVED AND HUNGRY I CANNOT DO WHAT YOU SUGGEST.
- YOU DUMB PEOPLE DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU CANNOT JUST "TELL" ME WHAT I SHOULD DO TODAY TO HELP MYSELF. I NEED HELP! I NEED HELP! I NEED HELP!
- ALERT: I DO NOT NEED OR WANT TO HEAR ANYONE'S DUMB IDEAS ABOUT WHAT I COULD OR SHOULD DO. IT'S OVER. I CAN'T FUCKING MOVE! SHUT UP!
- Some IDIOT just told me to check into social services. ASSHOLE, I DON'T NEED YOU TO TELL ME THAT. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE SMART?
- You would think after all the energy I put out there, a little bit of SOME kind of luck would maybe accidentally fall my way. no, No, NO!
- There is no escape, not even for a minute, from the panic and uncomfortableness and stress and hunger for ZD.I DO NOT GET A SHRED OF RELIEF!
- Q: Do you really think I'll pull myself out of this, alone on the streets with less and less people in my life than ever, without one cent?
- Wow, it's only 10am and I am already spent for the day. I'm DEFINITELY slipping away into real hardcore skid row degenerate life. It's over!
- Turned on my computer with new stuff to blog, but there is NO WAY I can do anything besides panic right now. Gotta let everything slide.
- I would LIKE to do something different with my life today, but kinda hard to do anything when I am more concerned about health and pains.
- I could sit here and blog all about everything I heard regarding Obama vs LA City Hall...but why bother. If you're interested, just call me.
- I've run myself into a rut out here on streets that I can't get out of. Can't even flip out about it anymore. But I need a break and relief.
- Please do not call me today UNLESS it is something about TODAY, RIGHT NOW! DO NOT CALL TO TALK ABOUT FUTURE THINGS THAT ARE NOT RIGHT NOW!
- oh no, now what.
- Posted the Obama/Villaraigosa story about pensions and possible indictments at http://zumatimes.blogspot.com.