YIKES! I just headed over to my friend's house who I have know since I first moved to L.A. I crash on the floor at his house, once in a while. I had to head over to his house to use his computer to post some video tonight.
Two of our other friends were there, too, for a post-karaoke party. Before I walked in, I made an announcement, "Don't be scared, it's the same ZD on the inside." (Because I know I look so bad, I felt I had to warn them to minimize it, and so they wouldn't make too big of a deal.)
IT HAS BEEN LESS THAN THREE WEEKS SINCE I LAST SAW ALL THREE OF THEM:
Well, despite my warning, THEY WERE INDEED SHOCKED. They walk up close to me and look even closer. My friend says, "Wow, you have never looked this bad. You have aged so much."
IT'S BEEN LESS THAN THREE WEEKS?!?! And they really couldn't stop talking about it. I had to kind go on the defense a little and stick up for myself.
So I walked out of the room for a second, and as I am walking out, I turn around and see them all huddled together whispering about it. And really, it was quite an issue that they wouldn't f*cking drop. I finally had to just tell them to shut up already and say, "I AM WELL AWARE OF IT, THAT'S WHY I WARNED YOU!!!"
So yeah, it's as bad as I thought. And my friend even told me he has been reading my blog and reading my stories of how I am unraveling on the streets of L.A., 24/7...
But I guess it doesn't hit home until you see me in person. Meanwhile, it's all my fault, I need to help myself, I haven't done anything to help myself, I'm going to pull out of this all by myself. I know some people have some ideas for things down the line, and have thought about some things...I WOULD KEEP THINKING ABOUT IT and just relax...there is PLENTY of time, and everything is fine from what I understand...except I've turned into a museum sideshow spectacle.